As the boundary defining our sexual relationships continues to expand, Bondi Swingers continues to adjust to these expectations. Topics discussed here represent nothing more than good manners, a considerate demeanour and proper etiquette.
Do have fun! +
Do have fun and don't take it too seriously. Some may get nervous and shy. However, it's important to remember it's a no-pressure environment at our parties. Some come as voyeurs, some for hedonistic sex, but all come... to have fun.
Do we have to do anything? +
Absolutely not. This is the most common misconception about swinging. It stops many couples from dipping their toes in the water. Obviously you’re considering the possibility of doing something or you wouldn’t be reading this, but it’s perfectly acceptable to come to a party and do nothing. Most other couples won’t even notice, let alone care. The golden rule of swinging is ‘no means no’ and should someone proposition you, a polite refusal won’t offend. If you’re fully dressed you are unlikely to be approached for anything other than a friendly chat. At any swinging event there will probably be other first-timers as nervous as you. Everyone was a first-timer once. One of the nicest things about the scene is how people are considerate of each others feelings. Come along. Check it out. If you don’t want to play, then don’t. If you only want to play with your partner, that’s fine. Not many people who get that far turn back, but if you do, then at least you can say you gave it a go.
Don't have high expectations. +
Sex is very personal and finding the right match and chemistry that works among consenting adults is not always easy.
Your partner. +
Please do not take someone to our parties who is not fully informed. This is an obvious one. Don't bring any one who is not fully aware of these types of sexually provocative and explicit events. It can be embarrassing for everyone, and probably may cause problems.
Be upfront and honest. +
Do find out upfront the level at which the newly approached couple is playing. Sex is very personal. If everyone is on the same page upfront, it will avoid awkward missteps and misunderstandings when everyone starts to play.
How do I persuade my partner to come? +
At Bondi Swingers, we’re interested in people who are sexual adventurers. We are not looking for, say... couples where one partner has been manipulated into giving it a go. We know males are pressured by their female partners just as much as females by males. For Bondi Swingers, swinging is the outward expression of the sexual synch between two people. The right way to go about swinging is to develop that deep sensual bond with your partner, and then look for ways of enhancing it.
How do I ensure my partner enjoys it? +
Make sure your partner gets what they are looking for, and that you only get what your partner is happy for you to have. Stick to the rules you agreed to. Do not try to push the boundaries you agreed to once you’re at the party. Your partner will think you are disingenuous, and they’ll be right. Let them build their trust with the new environment and new people. Presumably, they already trust you as a sexual partner. Let them learn to trust you as a group sex or swinging partner. What was it from your partner’s side that led you into trying swinging? Was it swapping with another couple? Soft swinging (penetration by own partner only)? Was it multiple partners, serially or together? A threesome? Or an orgy experience? Your mission at that party is to deliver it. Place any agenda of your own, however legitimate and agreed to, firmly into second place. If your partner wants to come back there’ll be plenty of other opportunities. If they don’t, the game is over.
Don't be shy. +
Be the one to break the ice in meeting new couples. Remember why everyone is there... mostly for sex! Some are perhaps feeling shy and insecure. Being approached in conversation is flattering and can make everyone feel at ease.